When my mother said don’t smile
That a man passing by would misunderstand
That it was a simple gesture but not to do so to strangers
I was only twelve
When I was whistled at by some stranger in a truck
His voice loud as he sat at the redlight
I was only running on a sidewalk to get the mail
I was only twelve
When unbeknownst to me my childhood friends were being abused
My small world unable to realize just how close pain could be to one so young
I was only twelve
When I asked the door to be left open because meeting in a closed room left me uncomfortable
I was only a girl
And I could feel the stares of men
I grew fearful of their gaze and every intention
I wanted to trust yet I was told to question their actions
I wanted to not fear
Yet the news gave me reason to always be alert
I was only a girl
When I walked home at night
And my father was upset I did so alone
I was only a girl
When my DMs filled with stranger’s random messages
When I was told to park under a light because our world is full of more darkness and dim alleyways than well-lit parking lots
There is no freedom in being a woman Living fearfully is not what I want
Always looking over my shoulder
Can’t have headphones in both ears
Can’t go out after dark
Can’t walk alone
I only wished to look at the stars
Only now am I beginning to breathe again, in this freedom there is trust despite so much “newness”
Now I can explore life after dusk instead of holing away come evening
I wished to see the stars
And now I finally enjoy feeling the night breeze caressing me
Oh what pleasure comes from the simplest of things
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