Investing With No Return

Invest with no return. That sounds opposite of everything we’re taught, right? 

But that’s how Believers are supposed to live–investing in the people around us with no expectations. 

This is one of my biggest struggles. It’s not that I expect something from every person I want to build relationships with, but there is this expectation of mutual give and take when it comes to investing in people. However, if we are always expecting to receive something from the relationships we put in, how are we to invest in those around us who can’t give anything back?

There are some people who you will be investing in who will never be able to do the same. They are in a season of life where they can’t do that. For those struggling, it’s not that they don’t want to, but that they can’t, and there’s a difference. They might not be able to give back to you in the moment, but they will remember and do the same for others.

There will be some people in your life who will take and take and take. They don’t care about the relationship, and it’s toxic, but you don’t want to cut them off. Other times people push you off and eventually you get the hint that it’s not going anywhere. Sometimes, you need to let things go and move on. If a relationship is obviously harmful to you in any way, you need to reassess. They won’t invest in you, and it’s because they don’t want to–they are choosing not to. Those are the people that will never be there for you even when you try to give them a chance. Ultimately you need to push them away even if it’s hard.

For those who can’t invest in you, sometimes it’s because of the times or circumstances. The hardest part for me is that for so long people told me they were busy, they were insincere, or they canceled again and again. I don’t care to be people’s first priority, I know life happens, but when you are shut down time and time again it’s hard to keep going. I got shut down so much that I stopped reaching out. I stopped trying, and I struggled to start new relationships. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to try, but I no longer had the energy to do so. I had no healthy relationships with those my age because we were at different stages of life. And now it’s become a habit for me because I struggle to know what to do. I don’t always like to reach out first every time to meet up because I feel like I’m bothering people when I keep asking. It’s at a point where I recognize how it negatively affects it has, how I am keeping to myself because I don’t want to “invest with no return.” But that’s not who I want to be. I want to give. I want to love. I want to be there. I don’t want to ignore those I see because I don’t have the energy to engage. I don’t want to be that selfish. But it can be hard to tell the difference between those who need you but can’t reciprocate and those who use you. I’m still figuring it out, but that’s what life is. Figuring out, learning, and growing from what we experience.

I’ve been met with circumstances at times where I was placed in a situation that was stressful and toxic, and I didn’t want anything to do with it. I wanted to ignore it and pretend it wasn’t my problem. But I realized that even if it wasn’t my problem, if someone doesn’t have any support in that moment, then it gets only worse. People need someone to listen to them, and I had to reassess how I was thinking. In the end, we are supposed to love and give regardless. It’s hard. It’s a challenge. But each action, no matter how small, will have an outcome.

Don’t go into a relationship expecting to get something out of it. Communicate clearly, but know that in the end, friendships come and go and you never know how much time you have with someone, so don’t waste the time you’re given. Even if it’s two months versus two years, your impact on those struggling is still meaningful. We are told by society to abandon those who can’t give us what we need. To ignore those around us if they can’t support us and to work only on ourselves. If we push out everything that could hurt us we will be living in a lonely world. No one is perfect, and relationships have ups and downs, but making it through the hard times is what makes those people more meaningful. Don’t force what isn’t meant to be.